The Ups and Downs of adoption

From the very beginning, and even before we were considering adoption, we were warned about the emotional ups and downs of the adoption process.   Up to this point, we have felt that things have been going very positively and smoothly.  When we set out on this journey, we had one little girl in mind who we were working toward adopting, who captured my heart while I was in Haiti.   We very quickly found ourselves considering this child our child and felt a very strong love for her.  As a family we prayed over her daily and thought the plan would be that she would be part of our family.  

However, about a week and a half ago we got news that another family who had gotten in their paperwork first had requested her and that she would now be matched with that family. This was devastating news for Ed and I and was very tough to process.   It is only now that it is almost two weeks since we received that news that I feel that we can start openly talking about the devastation we felt and are starting to come to peace with this twist in our adoption journey.

Both Ed and I are so thankful for our faith to walk us through these harder times in life.   It is through our faith that we can move on past this news, knowing that God has predestined our child out for us and we must obediently follow along his path to that child, after all, this “twist” went through his hands.   We are absolutely committed to continuing to move on in our adoption journey are preparing for the next steps, and are anxious to see what God has in store for us and who our child will be.   We have basically completed all of our paperwork at this point that truly “begins” the long process of adoption. The next few months will entail only waiting on our part, with a chance that potential referral s of children might be sent our way, but there is no guarantee they will come that fast.   

I am thankful that this little girl, who I think we will forever keep in our hearts and prayers, is on her way to a forever family. She has spent 8 years of her life waiting…wondering if she would ever have a mommy or daddy.   It breaks my heart to think of any child feeling that way.  I constantly think back to my first five minutes when I entered the orphanage/crèche in Haiti for the first time.  Another little girl immediately came up and threw her arms around me and within two minutes was telling me how much she loved me and asking me to adopt her.  She then took me to her room and showed me a letter/picture she wrote to her future and mom and dad telling them how much she loved them and wanted to meet them…this was a little girl who was not matched for adoption, meaning she was writing this letter to someone who did not exist yet.   It breaks my heart thinking of so many children around the world who experience this.  So for Ed and I, this is a race (albeit a long race) to get to our child as soon as possible so that they know they do have a mommy and daddy who loves them so much.  And as much as it hurts, we praise Jesus that the child we were intending to adopt is now on her way home to the family she deserves.

We are thankful for those of you who are praying for us through this adoption journey, as we are still very much struggling with “losing” the little girl who we had thought was going to be our daughter.  

** Note- our adoption agency does not allow us to release any names of the kids that are involved in the adoption process, that is why we can’t refer to her name, in case you were wondering.