We are learning all too well about the challenges of international adoption.   Our first phase of our adoption I called the "paperwork gathering stage".  I call this next phase we are now in the "paperwork rejection phase".     Basically, every piece of paper that has a signature on it for our adoption has to be notarized then from there the document is sent to the State of California to "certify" the notary's information and then we can submit our paperwork to our agency, which they then will notify us of any errors.  Here is an example of a few things that have been rejected and why:

1. Our letter to request to adopt was rejected by the State of CA.  Reason:  the notary acknowledgement page was paper clipped to the letter, when it should have been stapled. We are now resubmitting with a staple.....yes, this is for real.   Hence, another 3-4 week delay for the State of CA to turn this document around to us.
2. Our documents have to be addressed to "Intitut du Bien Etre Social et de Recherches (IBESR)"  in 4 of our documents, the E and the S in IBESR got transposed.  All four documents have to be re-done, notarized again, and then sent to the State of CA for certification again.....Another delay.
3. Our doctor had to write letters addressing many health questions on us.   In that letter one of the specific statements they had to include was "Patient has been tested and is free of all communicable diseases". This sentence was omitted and therefore the letter needs to be re-done, which is no easy feat coordinating with our doctors office....Oh, and of course they are charging us a large amount for each letter,  because they say it is considered a legal document since we must have it notarized, therefore they have to charge us the fee they charge for all legal documents.....to the tune of almost $400.....and of course, more waiting.  

It can be very challenging moving forward in international adoption, however, when we keep our eye on why we are doing this, it is easy to keep pressing forward, because we know at the end of this journey is our child and they will be worth every moment of frustration and aggravation with this process. 

This week I was reminded of one specific reason to keep pressing forward in our adoption.  When I was in Haiti I met a special little boy in very bad circumstances.  He lived at the orphanage up the road from where we were serving, which was a humble set of crumbling walls being run by two people trying their best to serve orphans.  Upon meeting this little boy, Fabrice, it was clear he had some major special needs that were not being met.   I went ahead and attached my post below from my first experience meeting him.  But what I want to add is when we went back to Chances for Children (C4C) I shared with the director how this boy broke my heart, and she shared how she has been working and working to get him moved.  Well Praise Jesus, this week he was moved to Chances for Children, which can provide for the special needs he has and search for that family who can love on him forever.

This is why we are adopting and taking this harder route to build our family.....because these children need us. They are the kids that have been left behind and are desperately hoping for a family, someone to love them, someone to tell them they are wanted, someone to care for them.   We feel so blessed that we have the ability to be that for some child out there and are just praying to get through this process as quickly and smoothly has we can.


BLOG POST FROM HAITI:

DAY 3 IN HAITI

April 27, 2013 //

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A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE
Chances for Children is a place of hope! The kids grow up in a family setting and have the love of Jesus poured in to them by a staff who truly loves them. It is not the picture of an orphanage/crèche that I had in my head.

However, today we visited an orphanage that was the picture that was in my head. The difference between a crèche and an orphanage is that a crèche is where children can be adopted and their parents and/or family have relinquished all rights to them. Chances for Children is a crèche. An orphanage is where the children are kept whose parents or family will not relinquish the rights to the children and they are not eligible for adoption; they will stay in the orphanage until they are old enough to go out on their own.
We walked up a road of rubble. We knew we arrived when we saw children’s clothes draped on the barred gates outside. As we rounded the gate a boney stray dog shot past us. Emanuel Maxime, who runs the orphanage with his wife, greeted us. Next, my heart was destroyed.

Fabrese, a small child, the size of a three year old, who is actually almost 7, sat in a crude child’s wheelchair with a blank stare. I crouched down to his level to come near to him, a blank stare and no response from his big brown eyes. I stroked his inward turned hands, still no reaction. Then I gave him one slow stroke to his forehead and caressed his head. As soon as I touched his forehead his eyes began to roll back in his head and he melted into his chair. I believe this was him enjoying the touch that he may rarely receive.
Our interpreter, Jorbe (who is one of the most phenomenal people I have met), explains to us that Fabrese is mute, can’t walk, and has minimal motion. However, he can hear and is aware of his surroundings. His surroundings are crumbling cement walls with tarps pieced together over the “courtyard” to provide shade, and a corrugated roof perched a foot or so above the cement walls. There are 34 children living in a very tiny area, smaller than most of our homes. There are square openings that serve as windows in the walls- with no window coverings. There is not one splash of color, not a decoration, and not one toy that I saw.


As I finish each caress of Fabrese’s head his eyes would roll back to focus back ahead of him again, he would open his mouth and drool would pool out. Then he would ever so slightly begin to lean forward, but you would have to catch him so that he did not fall straight forward out of his chair, as he cannot stop himself. The Lord broke my heart…..John 11:35 Jesus wept….. I wept.

We left Fabrese and walked up the stairs that were fully exposed to the courtyard below with no handrails or guards, the steps the children play on all day. We came upon 24 kids crowded in a small schoolroom with one chalkboard and only 2-3 books that all the kids were sharing together and learning from. I saw only a few smiles, a stark contrast to the joy we have been experiencing this week at C4C. Emanual Maxime (the one who runs the orphanage) shared how much it means to him and the children that we came and saw them. He asked if the kids could sing for us. And boy, were we blessed in the next moments.

The children began to sing Amazing Grace. It started out with soft children’s voices and they grew into a roar of the most angelic choir. It is how I imagine the choirs in heaven sound. There was not a dry eye on the team when the song was over.

For these children there is no hope except their hope in the Lord. The most joy I saw in them was when they were singing for the Lord. They thank the Lord for everything! I praise Jesus for those who have poured Jesus’s love into these kids and giving them hope.

The Ups and Downs of adoption

From the very beginning, and even before we were considering adoption, we were warned about the emotional ups and downs of the adoption process.   Up to this point, we have felt that things have been going very positively and smoothly.  When we set out on this journey, we had one little girl in mind who we were working toward adopting, who captured my heart while I was in Haiti.   We very quickly found ourselves considering this child our child and felt a very strong love for her.  As a family we prayed over her daily and thought the plan would be that she would be part of our family.  

However, about a week and a half ago we got news that another family who had gotten in their paperwork first had requested her and that she would now be matched with that family. This was devastating news for Ed and I and was very tough to process.   It is only now that it is almost two weeks since we received that news that I feel that we can start openly talking about the devastation we felt and are starting to come to peace with this twist in our adoption journey.

Both Ed and I are so thankful for our faith to walk us through these harder times in life.   It is through our faith that we can move on past this news, knowing that God has predestined our child out for us and we must obediently follow along his path to that child, after all, this “twist” went through his hands.   We are absolutely committed to continuing to move on in our adoption journey are preparing for the next steps, and are anxious to see what God has in store for us and who our child will be.   We have basically completed all of our paperwork at this point that truly “begins” the long process of adoption. The next few months will entail only waiting on our part, with a chance that potential referral s of children might be sent our way, but there is no guarantee they will come that fast.   

I am thankful that this little girl, who I think we will forever keep in our hearts and prayers, is on her way to a forever family. She has spent 8 years of her life waiting…wondering if she would ever have a mommy or daddy.   It breaks my heart to think of any child feeling that way.  I constantly think back to my first five minutes when I entered the orphanage/crèche in Haiti for the first time.  Another little girl immediately came up and threw her arms around me and within two minutes was telling me how much she loved me and asking me to adopt her.  She then took me to her room and showed me a letter/picture she wrote to her future and mom and dad telling them how much she loved them and wanted to meet them…this was a little girl who was not matched for adoption, meaning she was writing this letter to someone who did not exist yet.   It breaks my heart thinking of so many children around the world who experience this.  So for Ed and I, this is a race (albeit a long race) to get to our child as soon as possible so that they know they do have a mommy and daddy who loves them so much.  And as much as it hurts, we praise Jesus that the child we were intending to adopt is now on her way home to the family she deserves.

We are thankful for those of you who are praying for us through this adoption journey, as we are still very much struggling with “losing” the little girl who we had thought was going to be our daughter.  

** Note- our adoption agency does not allow us to release any names of the kids that are involved in the adoption process, that is why we can’t refer to her name, in case you were wondering.